PEOPLE WHO HAVE BEEN VICTIMIZED BY MY EXISTENCE
THEY WOULD LIKE TO BE EXCLUDED FROM MY NARRATIVE SINCE 1990. Yeah I know that reference was like a month ago.
- •My auntShe was 14 when I was born and I stole the attention by being adorable and smarter than her by age 4
- •Boys at barsI never go home with them even though I have a slutty aura
- •My friendsThey probably all would have less liver damage and damage to their blood pressure levels (between butter and the stress I cause)
- •I made up fake rules to monopoly and told her Santa wasn't real
- •My coworkersProviding diabetes and income tax since 2004