REASONS I'M OBSESSED WITH BIRTHDAYS
"Everyone has one and you didn't do anything exciting to get it" - My Brother, Scrooge. People keep telling me I'm too into birthdays but guys I'm just as excited for yours as I am for mine. I love them.
- •YOU'RE ALIVE!Most of the people who have existed aren't! Enjoy it while it lasts it's amazing! No one knows for sure what's after this!
- •This is the day you, a miracle, were brought into this cool fucking spinning ball of matter to experience all the things.Two people CREATED YOU. One of them was (hopefully) sober for 9 months so you could exist! The universe is insane and wondrous!
- •You can eat cake for breakfast and no one can judge!Adults can do this anyway but people judge sometimes like somehow cake breakfast makes you less of a responsible adult with dietary needs. Those party poopers have to stay silent on your birthday!
- •Wishes!It's not like you can't make them in fountains and on stars but there's something to the action of blowing out candles that makes it seem like you are shaping your own destiny with the wish. I take the secret of the birthday wish very seriously. Trick candles are stupid but fine if that's your thing just don't try that nonsense on me.
- •People!Now idk if everyone has that one aunt who shouldn't sing but insists on doing it every year to your voicemail but even that's sort of sweet. People who you don't talk to all year but you still probably care about reach out and tell you how glad they are you exist. And don't pretend like those Facebook notifications don't give you that little mood boost you like it everyone does.
- •Gifts!I fucking love gift giving. There's not a feeing I like more than finding the perfect gift for someone and then having them be excited about it. Thoughtful gift giving is such an awesome way to show people you know them, care about what they love and enjoy, and want to see them happy. And even if you are stumped everyone likes a good scratch off ticket.
- •Homemade cards!Ugh my little cousins make these for me because their parents are stupid and hate me and honestly they're my FAVORITE because I know they really wanted to make me something special and from them. I have all of them saved. The progression of artwork is adorable. Ugh my heart hurts just thinking about them.
- •Parties!I'm not one to normally have one because logistics (thanksgiving birthday obstacles) but godddddd I love to throw a birthday party. Or pregame if you're going out. Or dinner if you're fancy. Decorations, all people you like, giddy storytelling about the birthday person, streamers, themes, jokes about aging, love it all. What is there not to like?
- •So if you hate birthdays, invite me over. I'll bring you presents and we'll do shots of that terrible birthday cake pinnacle vodka and celebrate the fact that you're awesome and this next year is going to be your BEST YET.Because I believe it. And want a piece of your cake.