STORIES I ENJOY TELLING TO STRANGERS
Or really anyone.
- •The Infamous Monopoly GameIt involves keeping a child from its father, thrown pieces, and a legitimate death threat from my grandfather. It demonstrates three things that are very important to my narrative; my boss skills at monopoly, how insane my family is, and that my birthday is around thanksgiving.
- •The Time Ed Peed In The OvenAllegedly.
- •The Time Ron Drove To The ER With Three Small Children And Paper TowelsRon sliced both of his wrists open trying to replace a window and promptly drove himself and us we babes to the hospital where his wife was working. Suffering from blood loss and probably overwhelmed with adrenaline he responded with a confused yes when the nurse asked him if the wounds were self inflicted. He realized his mistake and tried to explain when they said they were bringing down a psych consult. Martha was a nurse supervisor and relentlessly picked on for this.
- •The Night Of The AxOne of the more ridiculous stories and includes all the best aspects of a dramaedy; friendship, lust, jealousy, hilarity, lies, robbery, destruction of property, an uncomfortable cab ride, birthday cake, a teenage girl laying in the road, multiple locations, sneaking people into a bedroom, drunkly singing all 4 one, and a disappointed mother.
- •The First Trip To Vegas"I heard you were a wild one" doesn't begin to describe it. Also the largest penis I've seen to date.
- •The Time Julian Peed In The SuitcaseMultiple witnesses.
- •When @sar_marieee Didn't Get Ice CreamBecause she was a liar and a fake cry baby and SHE DIDN'T DESERVE IT