#TEAMNOBABIES

Mad respect for those of you who reproduce and I'll let you finish talking about what a gift it is but let me just get this out 💁🏻
  1. I'm selfish AF
    Like really. I love people and will do anything for them as long as I want to do that thing
  2. What if it's dumb?
    I know people say "what if it's ugly" but like GUYS WHAT IF I HAD A DUMB KID
  3. Bodily fluids
    I cleaned up enough drunk people in college to know this is not my jam. I'll do it but I expect you to buy the drinks next time and babies can't buy drinks they're underage
  4. No tolerance for pain
    Fucking super tampons have been known to terrify me on a slowflow day
  5. Genetic predisposition is unkind to force upon an unsuspecting being
    They didn't ask to be born and I'd give them cynicism/diabetes/heart disease/addictive personality/alcoholism/arthritis/bone density issues/cancer/personality disorders/all the mean aunts. Yes I'm aware these aren't all scientific
  6. It would be half an asshole
    Genetics got its own bullet point but this merits separate consideration. Half of the DNA to any child I would carry would be formed by a romantic partner of mine and NOPE. I've met those fools and none of them should have a say in the future direction of humanity. You can say "make better choices Mary" but that's an entirely different list prompt. Also, I'm a bit of an asshole.
  7. 9 months of sobriety
    I have to be FAT and SOBER?
  8. What if you damage them?!
    Sure some people come out great despite their parents. But what if I accidentally damaged a child to the point they damaged other humans around them? Emotionally or physically, both are terrible.
  9. So see I'm actually doing society a favor
    So if everyone would please stop telling me nonsense like "you're young you'll change your mind" and "just wait you're going to make a great mother" like its some sort of timing issue that I have an opinion
  10. You're welcome!