THINGS I LOATHE BUYING BUT NEED TO MAINTAIN MY STATUS AS A HUMAN WOMAN

It takes a lot of effort (and product) to look this average.
  1. Razor heads
    WHY SO EXPENSIVE
  2. Contact solution
    Everyone would be beautiful if I couldn't see them
  3. Wax
    Let me pay to rip off my hair/skin in the pursuit of not looking like a fairytale villain
  4. Whitening strips
    Red wine and coffee are how I get through life I will not sacrifice them for pearly whites
  5. Liquid foundation
    It's never the right shade and it feels like I'm painting myself. Dishonor on your whole family!
  6. Hair masks
    Is there no way to make one that doesn't smell like old ladies in church or a chemical bomb went off? Is there no moderation left in the world?!
  7. Body shapers/spanx
    Panty lines are unbecoming? My body fat sits in the wrong places? Easy fix for just $40 and constant discomfort throughout the day