THINGS I LOATHE BUYING BUT NEED TO MAINTAIN MY STATUS AS A HUMAN WOMAN
It takes a lot of effort (and product) to look this average.
- •Razor headsWHY SO EXPENSIVE
- •Contact solutionEveryone would be beautiful if I couldn't see them
- •WaxLet me pay to rip off my hair/skin in the pursuit of not looking like a fairytale villain
- •Whitening stripsRed wine and coffee are how I get through life I will not sacrifice them for pearly whites
- •Liquid foundationIt's never the right shade and it feels like I'm painting myself. Dishonor on your whole family!
- •Hair masksIs there no way to make one that doesn't smell like old ladies in church or a chemical bomb went off? Is there no moderation left in the world?!
- •Body shapers/spanxPanty lines are unbecoming? My body fat sits in the wrong places? Easy fix for just $40 and constant discomfort throughout the day