THINGS I'M DONE APOLOGIZING FOR

"If you're not sorrowful don't say sorry" - a bad bitch
  1. Hairy Legs
    I SHAVED YESTERDAY. What do you monsters want, a 7-year-old's hairless body? Venus is expensive ya pricks. NOT SORRY.
  2. Eating Garlic
    I'm eating it and onions and I'm not worried about staying single forever bossy lady by the fountains where I eat lunch. Plenty of men will love my garlic breath. It's attached to this brilliant mouth where the fascinating words come out. I have mouthwash in my purse but still NOT SORRY
  3. 3+ year old mistakes
    It's detrimental and self harm. NEXT.
  4. Liking My Parents
    Whatever I might be a weirdo but Ron and Martha are the bomb dot com so maybe you're the weirdo, weirdo. JK you probably love them and this is me projecting. I share them as much as I can with people who don't have my good fortune but I'm done apologizing
  5. Not Sharing Ben and Jerry's
    Get your own pint. What kind of nonsense person thinks this size is for sharing.