THINGS ID LIKE TO SAY TO BOYS WHO NEVER DATED ME

Had a bad dateeeeee
  1. Your oral was underwhelming
  2. You didn't have to say off the record nothing you ever said was that interesting
  3. I never even drunk made out with you stop telling people we dated
  4. The response to "never speak to me again" is not "call me"
  5. I will never be that bord
  6. Talking about your dad after a blow job is realllllll strange
  7. I'm sorry I couldn't be an actual person for more than 24 hours at a time