THINGS PEOPLE SAY THAT AREN'T F*$&ING COMPLIMENTS

  1. "He wanted to fuck you."
    Duh.
  2. "Someday you'll make a great mom."
    How about a great CEO? A great producer of revenue? A great boss? All things I want to be before a mother. All things that the qualities you are trying to compliment me on require.
  3. "You look like *actress name*"
    They look like me. Bishhhh. The only person I look like is Martha because she gave me these glorious genetics
  4. "You'd never know you had terrible acne!"
    Yup.
  5. "You just don't care!"
    If only you could hear my internal monologue