THINGS THAT ARE MORE OFFENSIVE THAN MY LITTLE SISTER GETTING MARRIED

  1. That she was easily sorted into her proper hogwarts house and I have an identity crisis
  2. That she is about to buy a home and I live in a closet with an entire numerical difference in square footage
  3. That my father thinks she was the one who jammed to Sheena is a punk rocker instead of me
    COME ON GUYS WHAT THE HELL
  4. That she's the actual godchild of our one uncle who claims to be all our godfather
    Though I suppose she lost the lottery on godmothers so there's that
  5. That her face is perfect
    Okay I may be biased since it's a little like mine