THOUGHTS I HAVE ON A PLANE

In relatively chronological order
  1. Everyone knows I'm drunk.
  2. We are all going to die in a large metal tube
  3. The last thoughts humanity will have about me are about my raging alcoholism
  4. I know pilots. Why have I put my life in their hands?
  5. Everything in sky mall is amazing and I'm getting everyone perfect Christmas presents
  6. Fuck that guy who half did the sudoku in pen in the back of this magazine
  7. We are all going to die in a large metal tube and none of us listened to the instructions
  8. I should have packed mini bottles. @darshnim taught me better than this.
  9. I wonder what happens if I turn airplane mode off...
  10. That SNL skit was a terrible disappointment
  11. My neighbor keeps giving me side eye, he knows I'm drunk.
  12. There is a small child screaming. #teamnobabies
  13. Oh god, descending. Shouldn't he slow down?
  14. We are all going to die and I'm so sober.
  15. I HAVE SO MUCH LEFT TO ACCOMPLISH!
  16. General bargaining
  17. Why do people stand so quickly, we are all going to fumble awkwardly with our luggage for the next 20 minutes