TWO TRUTHS AND A LIE

  1. Today I heard a raccoon run through the roof of my office in the state Capitol
  2. Today I danced to destiny's child and chugged white wine and ate dunkaroos
  3. Today I ate an entire pizza and a bowl of ziti and felt no regret or shame
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  12. IT WAS THREE TRUTHS AND THE TITLE WAS A LIE. GOT YA.