THINGS I'VE NOTICED ABOUT THE GUYS ON BUMBLE

  1. They all are like model attractive or not attractive at all. There's no happy medium.
  2. The majority of them play ice hockey.
  3. Either they are all lawyers or working for some bank/investment company.
    And they are probably all boring as hell.
  4. They all have that one picture of them with friends so they look like they are the "life of the party" and the cool dudes who gets all the tail in the world.
    You aren't fooling anyone. You are on the classier version of Tinder.
  5. They write the funniest shit for their occupations.
    One guy has "tight dress shirt wearer" as his occupation. Okay, asshole.
  6. So many shirtless photos.
    I'm sorry, but I don't really want to see your nipple. Save that for when we finally play hide the salami.