AN OPEN LIST OF THINGS SONIC THE HEDGEHOG HAS TAUGHT ME

  1. There is no ethical consumption under capitalism
  2. These changes to my body are natural
  3. I am not sexually attracted to hedgehogs
  4. I do not like deviantart
  5. Fan fiction is not my thing
  6. I can kill anything by running really fast through it
  7. Michael Jackson made some pretty good video game music