TERRIBLE TOYS I HAVE INVENTED

A list of my best worst toys, available nowhere
  1. An ant farm with a single ant, but the ant is huge and vicious
    And it just attacks it's reflection all day or your stupid face, pushed up against the glass.
  2. A stuffed dinosaur filled with hypodermic needles, whose needles are then filled with tinier stuffed dinosaurs.
  3. A bouncy ball that doesn't bounce, it bleeds.
  4. A trading card that explodes
  5. A transforming robot with a racist catchphrase
  6. A game with dice that break apart when you roll them.
  7. A box that is nearly impossible to open, but when you do finally get its drawer unstuck you find that it is just filled with the finger and toe nails of countless orphans.
  8. A teddy bear that is self aware, incredible sad, and disembowels itself to use its own stuffing as tissues.
  9. A cat that is also a knife.
    It's called a cat. They already exist.
  10. A doll made of human hair that can't stop screaming