WHAT AM I SICK WITH THIS TIME?

Oh Christ not again. Please help me determine what I am sick with.
  1. Sore throat, head ache
  2. Stuffy nose, coughing & sneezing
  3. Lower abdominal hemorrhage, spontaneous growth of a second nose which is also stuffy
  4. Thorax pain, antler rot
  5. Missing fingers, superfluous toes
  6. Bad breath, too many teeth
  7. Songs keep getting stuck in my head, short term memory loss
  8. 7 dwarf syndrome (sleepy, sneezy, grumpy, happy, dopey, bashful, filled with rage)
  9. Stiffness, an erection lasting more than 4 hours
  10. Fever