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  1. There's a woman handing out stickers but they're actual laced with LSD
  2. We need to have a code word so that if anyone tries to bring you home from school, practice, etc, you know it's safe
    You know, so they don't try to kidnap me. The one time the code word was used I had no idea what I meant and my friend's mom had to explain it to me
  3. Be careful walking on the street because someone might snatch you up
    Lots of predators out there
  1. Shameless locker room nudity
    There is no place for old men standing naked in the mirror or strutting through the locker room with no towel. You got an old man body. Hide your shame.
  2. Non dairy creamer
    Seriously, what the fuck is that?
  3. Bridge
    Cards not roadways. Bridges are super important. Confusing card games where the players always seem annoyed at each other is something we can live without.
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I have two rules for vacations: there must be a beach and it must be in a Spanish speaking place
  1. Isla Mujeres, Mexico
    Fly into Cancun and get on the ferry to Isla Mujeres. It's not a spring break hot spot at all. It's relaxed and extremely comfortable. Stay in Playa Norte. Go to Rooster.
  2. Las Galeras, Samana, Dominican Republic
    Walkable beaches that you can snorkel at. Fresh fish on the beach. Boat trips to secluded beaches and ATV tours to Playa Rincon, where the water is crystal clear
  3. Nosara, Guanacaste, Costa Rica
    Good waves for body surfing but I was there in 2004 and don't remember much more. Delicious food too. Casado for dinner and Batidos for dessert.
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