I was there

Over 5 million people took to the streets of Chicago to celebrate the Cubs World Series victory making it the 7th largest gathering of people in human history.
  1. I was there
  2. I also went to Wrigleyville to witness the crowd as the win happened
  3. I'm not a baseball fan
    But I watched every game of the series and the NLCS series.
  4. I watched, and subsequently went to the parade and Wrigleyville because I wanted to feel like part of something.
    It didn't work.
  5. I've been searching for a group to belong to, and to participate in something. Anything.
    Nothing works. I always feel like I don't fit or belong or am not wanted.
  6. All my friends in Chicago are not my friends
    I inherited them through my brother and wife. So I feel like the odd one out at every gathering.
  7. I am volunteering at a small arthouse/music venue
    I'm part of a small group that curates concerts of new music. I fell like the group and I have wildly different ideas as to what makes good music or worthwhile music. So I'm not really invested anymore, but I'm trying to be so much.
  8. I can't get published
    While I was doing my PhD I wrote an article that has now been rejected by multiple journals. Meanwhile others in my cohort have more than one publication. Even though I was top of my class, I feel like I don't fit in or belong here either.
  9. Can't get a job in my field.
    See above. Though I did have 2 Skype interviews after applying for 50+ jobs.
  10. I can't find people interested in my music
    Whatever.
  11. I'm not quitting
    Sometimes everything feels futile. I mean I'm almost 36; I thought something, anything, would happen by now career wise. It's exhausting feeling rejection from every possible angle.
  12. Ugh
    I sounds like an 8 year old.