Welcome to Gorham, Maine. Where your parents hopes and dreams came to die.
  1. We're a suburban/college/farm town.
    How can all these things fit into one? One sneaky developer and having a town older than the Louisiana Purchase.
  2. We have been graced with one Burger King.
    This is where the skater kids and the old people who can't afford real food hang out.
  3. We also have a few chain restaurants and no parking.
    The local places get very little credit. Everybody loves their heartburn pizza (Domino's and Papa John's and their shitty bars.
  4. Some parts of town have different names.
    There's North Gorham which is also called White Rock, and then all your other directions.
  5. North Gorham is filled with sex offenders and drug addicts. There's also a few normal people and farmers thrown in there.
    I'm serious on the drug addicts though. My friend saw her neighbor carried out in a body bag.
  6. That being said it is quite picturesque.
    Gorham is charmed with old America. With the grossest Chinese food place town, in one of Gorham's oldest brick buildings, and Civil War memorials.
  7. Also snow days.
    I mean we live in Maine for Christ's sake.