Dear @shaynaf, Here are the 10 Things I Hate About You, inspired by one of my all-time favorite films, which was inspired by one of my favorite Shakespearean works. I know this is against EVERY rule Chris made, but I'm worried the impending snow is going to knock out our internet tomorrow and I didn't want to not get this to you!
  1. I hate how thick your eyebrows are,
  2. I hate their perfect shape.
  3. I hate your stupid flawless hair--
  4. It's thicker than an ape's.
  5. I hate the way you talk about
  6. Your handsome sweet boyfriend.
  7. I hate knowing that someone else
  8. Has found their heart's best friend.
  9. I hate your smoke-gray fluffy cat,
  10. I hate you named her Bear.
  11. I hate the way she looks at me
  12. Through that fire-orange stare.
  13. I hate those filming spots you've seen,
  14. I hate your favorite songs.
  15. But most of all I hate
  16. I didn't find you for so long.
  17. 💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖
  18. I don't hate any of these things.
  19. I'm obsessed with dark, thick eyebrows.
    Probably because I don't have any and it's one of my many self-conscious points.
  20. I am even more obsessed with super thick hair like yours.
    And especially when it has voluminous body--like yours does. Yes, I have hair envy. Your hair is perfect, okay?
  21. Reading your list about the things you love about your boyfriend honestly made me almost cry it was so beautiful. I pictured you walking up to him in the bar because he is one of the most beautiful people you've ever seen--which, by the way, BRAVE in a way I will *never* be👏🏼--and a little part of me believed love exists.
  22. Oh my WORD Bear is precious! Such a gorgeous cat, plus for some reason I adore when people name a pet after another animal.
    Can't explain it, I am what I am.
  23. It's so crazy cool that you've seen filming locales for awesome movies/tv; I mean, Blade Runner? Harrison Ford was there. That alone makes you celeb status in my head.
    Because I am a weirdo. Also New Girl lofts?! Stars Hollow?! Just, wow. Slow clap.
  24. Your list of all-time favorite songs made me want to dance and cry all at once, in such a good way:
  25. Suspicious Minds was the first Elvis song I ever fell in love with, when it was on the Lilo & Stitch soundtrack.
  26. Here's to the Night made me want to time travel back to puberty and actually take the risks that I *never* took (and still don't take tbh).
  27. Sinnerman is one of those songs that every time I listen to it I hear it in a different light, like sometimes I think she's singing about me; sometimes I think I'm singing it down to someone else; sometimes I think it's the theme song playing behind whatever mischief I'm getting into with somebody. It's always shifting.
  28. Got to Get You Into My Life is just, like, the perfect beginning-of-crush song. And as beginning of cruship is as far as I ever get, it's kind of one of my anthems.
  29. Don't Bring Me Down, and ELO in general, are such a big part of my upbringing. And this song is so universal.
  30. Does anyone NOT want to spend some time Under the Boardwalk?
  31. Jolene is a heartbreaker, because I have been the Jolene once to a married man. And I feel like I may know how Jolene feels in the situation? Like I get both sides of this in a way I usually don't in relationship songs, and I think that's why it's so haunting to me. Plus Dolly is a goddess.
  32. Edward Sharpe is an incredible talent. My sister saw him at Bonneroo several years ago and she came home demanding I look him up. She was irrefutably correct.
  33. I've written all of this to say:
  34. After thoroughly ListApp stalking you,
  35. I've come to the conclusion that
  37. 🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼
  38. Don't ever change.
  39. 😉
  40. But seriously, don't. You're super, and I'm so glad @ChrisK made you my ListApp Valentine!
  41. 😚😚😚😚😚😚😚😚😚😚😚
  42. Happy Valentine's Day Shayna!!!