10 THINGS I HATE ABOUT SHAYNA

Dear @shaynaf, Here are the 10 Things I Hate About You, inspired by one of my all-time favorite films, which was inspired by one of my favorite Shakespearean works. I know this is against EVERY rule Chris made, but I'm worried the impending snow is going to knock out our internet tomorrow and I didn't want to not get this to you!
  1. β€’
    I hate how thick your eyebrows are,
  2. β€’
    I hate their perfect shape.
  3. β€’
    I hate your stupid flawless hair--
  4. β€’
    It's thicker than an ape's.
  5. β€’
    I hate the way you talk about
  6. β€’
    Your handsome sweet boyfriend.
  7. β€’
    I hate knowing that someone else
  8. β€’
    Has found their heart's best friend.
  9. β€’
    I hate your smoke-gray fluffy cat,
  10. β€’
    I hate you named her Bear.
  11. β€’
    I hate the way she looks at me
  12. β€’
    Through that fire-orange stare.
  13. β€’
    I hate those filming spots you've seen,
  14. β€’
    I hate your favorite songs.
  15. β€’
    But most of all I hate
  16. β€’
    I didn't find you for so long.
  17. β€’
    πŸ’–πŸ’–πŸ’–πŸ’–πŸ’–πŸ’–πŸ’–πŸ’–πŸ’–πŸ’–πŸ’–
  18. β€’
    I don't hate any of these things.
  19. β€’
    I'm obsessed with dark, thick eyebrows.
    Probably because I don't have any and it's one of my many self-conscious points.
  20. β€’
    I am even more obsessed with super thick hair like yours.
    And especially when it has voluminous body--like yours does. Yes, I have hair envy. Your hair is perfect, okay?
  21. β€’
    Reading your list about the things you love about your boyfriend honestly made me almost cry it was so beautiful. I pictured you walking up to him in the bar because he is one of the most beautiful people you've ever seen--which, by the way, BRAVE in a way I will *never* beπŸ‘πŸΌ--and a little part of me believed love exists.
    😍😭😍
  22. β€’
    Oh my WORD Bear is precious! Such a gorgeous cat, plus for some reason I adore when people name a pet after another animal.
    Can't explain it, I am what I am.
  23. β€’
    It's so crazy cool that you've seen filming locales for awesome movies/tv; I mean, Blade Runner? Harrison Ford was there. That alone makes you celeb status in my head.
    Because I am a weirdo. Also New Girl lofts?! Stars Hollow?! Just, wow. Slow clap.
  24. β€’
    Your list of all-time favorite songs made me want to dance and cry all at once, in such a good way:
  25. β€’
    Suspicious Minds was the first Elvis song I ever fell in love with, when it was on the Lilo & Stitch soundtrack.
  26. β€’
    Here's to the Night made me want to time travel back to puberty and actually take the risks that I *never* took (and still don't take tbh).
  27. β€’
    Sinnerman is one of those songs that every time I listen to it I hear it in a different light, like sometimes I think she's singing about me; sometimes I think I'm singing it down to someone else; sometimes I think it's the theme song playing behind whatever mischief I'm getting into with somebody. It's always shifting.
  28. β€’
    Got to Get You Into My Life is just, like, the perfect beginning-of-crush song. And as beginning of cruship is as far as I ever get, it's kind of one of my anthems.
  29. β€’
    Don't Bring Me Down, and ELO in general, are such a big part of my upbringing. And this song is so universal.
  30. β€’
    Does anyone NOT want to spend some time Under the Boardwalk?
  31. β€’
    Jolene is a heartbreaker, because I have been the Jolene once to a married man. And I feel like I may know how Jolene feels in the situation? Like I get both sides of this in a way I usually don't in relationship songs, and I think that's why it's so haunting to me. Plus Dolly is a goddess.
  32. β€’
    Edward Sharpe is an incredible talent. My sister saw him at Bonneroo several years ago and she came home demanding I look him up. She was irrefutably correct.
  33. β€’
    I've written all of this to say:
  34. β€’
    After thoroughly ListApp stalking you,
  35. β€’
    I've come to the conclusion that
  36. β€’
    YOU. ARE. AWESOME.
  37. β€’
    πŸ™ŒπŸΌπŸ™ŒπŸΌπŸ™ŒπŸΌ
  38. β€’
    Don't ever change.
  39. β€’
    πŸ˜‰
  40. β€’
    But seriously, don't. You're super, and I'm so glad @ChrisK made you my ListApp Valentine!
  41. β€’
    😚😚😚😚😚😚😚😚😚😚😚
  42. β€’
    Happy Valentine's Day Shayna!!!