Dear @shaynaf, Here are the 10 Things I Hate About You, inspired by one of my all-time favorite films, which was inspired by one of my favorite Shakespearean works. I know this is against EVERY rule Chris made, but I'm worried the impending snow is going to knock out our internet tomorrow and I didn't want to not get this to you!
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    I hate how thick your eyebrows are,
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    I hate their perfect shape.
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    I hate your stupid flawless hair--
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    It's thicker than an ape's.
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    I hate the way you talk about
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    Your handsome sweet boyfriend.
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    I hate knowing that someone else
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    Has found their heart's best friend.
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    I hate your smoke-gray fluffy cat,
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    I hate you named her Bear.
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    I hate the way she looks at me
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    Through that fire-orange stare.
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    I hate those filming spots you've seen,
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    I hate your favorite songs.
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    But most of all I hate
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    I didn't find you for so long.
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    I don't hate any of these things.
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    I'm obsessed with dark, thick eyebrows.
    Probably because I don't have any and it's one of my many self-conscious points.
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    I am even more obsessed with super thick hair like yours.
    And especially when it has voluminous body--like yours does. Yes, I have hair envy. Your hair is perfect, okay?
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    Reading your list about the things you love about your boyfriend honestly made me almost cry it was so beautiful. I pictured you walking up to him in the bar because he is one of the most beautiful people you've ever seen--which, by the way, BRAVE in a way I will *never* beπŸ‘πŸΌ--and a little part of me believed love exists.
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    Oh my WORD Bear is precious! Such a gorgeous cat, plus for some reason I adore when people name a pet after another animal.
    Can't explain it, I am what I am.
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    It's so crazy cool that you've seen filming locales for awesome movies/tv; I mean, Blade Runner? Harrison Ford was there. That alone makes you celeb status in my head.
    Because I am a weirdo. Also New Girl lofts?! Stars Hollow?! Just, wow. Slow clap.
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    Your list of all-time favorite songs made me want to dance and cry all at once, in such a good way:
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    Suspicious Minds was the first Elvis song I ever fell in love with, when it was on the Lilo & Stitch soundtrack.
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    Here's to the Night made me want to time travel back to puberty and actually take the risks that I *never* took (and still don't take tbh).
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    Sinnerman is one of those songs that every time I listen to it I hear it in a different light, like sometimes I think she's singing about me; sometimes I think I'm singing it down to someone else; sometimes I think it's the theme song playing behind whatever mischief I'm getting into with somebody. It's always shifting.
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    Got to Get You Into My Life is just, like, the perfect beginning-of-crush song. And as beginning of cruship is as far as I ever get, it's kind of one of my anthems.
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    Don't Bring Me Down, and ELO in general, are such a big part of my upbringing. And this song is so universal.
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    Does anyone NOT want to spend some time Under the Boardwalk?
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    Jolene is a heartbreaker, because I have been the Jolene once to a married man. And I feel like I may know how Jolene feels in the situation? Like I get both sides of this in a way I usually don't in relationship songs, and I think that's why it's so haunting to me. Plus Dolly is a goddess.
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    Edward Sharpe is an incredible talent. My sister saw him at Bonneroo several years ago and she came home demanding I look him up. She was irrefutably correct.
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    I've written all of this to say:
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    After thoroughly ListApp stalking you,
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    I've come to the conclusion that
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    Don't ever change.
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    But seriously, don't. You're super, and I'm so glad @ChrisK made you my ListApp Valentine!
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    Happy Valentine's Day Shayna!!!