A FUNNY THING HAPPENED ON THE WAY TO MY INFUSION...

  1. As you may know, I have to receive infusions monthly to cope with my autoimmune autodegenerative disease.
  2. Recently, my insurance company has decided to be a pill about allowing me to continue treatments at the center I've been going to for 8 months.
  3. They told me of a different center, one that charges significantly less money.
  4. I understand them wanting me to cost them less, so I agreed to give it a try.
  5. On Thursday, my mom and I drove to the center so I could meet with the doctor.
  6. As soon as we pulled up and walked through the door, I felt a little uneasy.
  7. When we were called back to meet the doctor, he was extremely kind!
  8. However, he spoke extremely rapidly, almost in a frenzied way, and kept repeating the same few facts, opinions, and questions over and over and over again ad nauseam.
  9. He also kept congratulating me?
    Like, good job getting this disease? Good job on finding you, Dr. Sen? Whaaat?
  10. After legit almost 40 exhausting minutes of this, he took me from his office to an examination room.
  11. He was speaking with my mom in the hallway and his nurse took me into the room and handed me a gown and asked me to undress from the waist up; she walked out and shut the door.
  12. I wondered what the crap he would need me to undress for; I've done this examination so many times over three years that I could practically do it to myself. I've never had to undress. But I do anyway.
  13. He comes in, performs all the reflex tests I'm used to, but then sticks his hand in my armpit and feels around.
  14. This is weird, since my disease is in my brain and has nothing to do with my armpit, but alright.
  15. Then he gets me to lay back against the counter, and has his nurse hold up a sheet so my mom can't see what he's doing.
  16. He pulls up my hospital gown a bit and feels around, kind of massaging my stomach and pelvis.
    Weird, but a common symptom is digestive issues so okay.
  17. But then, he pulls up my hospital gown even farther and starts massaging around and on my breasts.
    Like, full whole-hand massaging my tiny breasticles.
  18. I'm so uncomfortable, but he's a new doctor to me so I don't know what's going on? I assume this is just standard procedure for him.
  19. When he finishes, he pulls my gown down, tells me everything looks good, washes his hands, and he, his nurse, and my mom leave.
  20. I'm a little rattled, because I was so taken aback. My disease has NOTHING to do with breast tissue. But I put my clothes back on and head outside.
  21. After a few more moments of exhaustive conversation, we're set free and head back to the car.
  22. On our drive home, my mom was discussing her suspicion that he may be in the early stages of dementia.
  23. She teases about him feeling in my armpit, and I laugh and say "At least it was better than the boob massage!"
  24. Her gaze spins off the road to look at me; "He gave you a BREAST EXAM?!"
  25. I tell her yes.
  26. Her nostrils flare and she is mostly quiet for the rest of the ride home.
  27. As soon as we get home, I leave again to go back to work.
  28. Apparently, the instant I leave the house, she bursts into angry tears and calls my insurance rep, Mary.
  29. Mary was furious. She told mom to cancel my infusion with Dr. Sen and not take me back there again.
  30. And that is the story of how the first man to ever touch my breasts was a very kind but erratic and wizened doctor.
  31. Addendum: the insurance rep has called the medical board to have someone observe him when he examines patients. So.....first boob touch may have been lowkey illegal.