"ANOTHER YEAR, GONE"
- •Well, this is it. The final minutes before I move up an age bracket have drawn to a close.
- •✔️25-35.DOB: September 13, 1991; 3:17AM EST.
- •How did I get here?
- •How did I come so far and yet not far at all?I'm listing this from my childhood bedroom, sitting in my pink frilly underwear on the sleigh bed I received as a birthday gift in seventh grade. Are you sure I'm 25 years old?
- •The thing is, it's not that *25* is so big and old and scary.Not at all.
- •The honest and true thing is, the last time I moved up an age bracket I was a freshman in college, wide-eyed and ready to meet my future husband, get engaged senior year, graduate and get married in a whirlwind weekend, move into a home of our home, pop out a couple of kids, the whole nine.
- •Yet here I sit years later, having accomplished exactly one of those things: earning a degree. A Bachelor's degree. Also known as useless.Not that I'm sorry all that cliché three-swings-and-a-ring crap didn't happen. Don't get me wrong. Definitely dodged a bullet there.
- •Even worse is thinking about the *next* time I'll be moving up age brackets: 35.Dun dun dun.
- •I feel like I can be forgiven for being a screw-up at 25. It isn't that uncommon.Perhaps not ideal, but doable.
- •If I'm still this clueless at 35? No one that I know, and I include myself in this, will see me as anything more than a tragic sick-girl story—despite the fact that my disease has nothing to do with my failure to succeed—"you have to cut her some slack, she just has it worse than you."
- •I'm not looking for sympathy here, I'm just trying to articulate, mostly for my benefit, why it is that 25 is intimidating me so completely.
- •But I think that's it:
- •Suddenly everything just got really real, like I'm in the home stretch here and if I don't pull it together in time I lose.I honestly don't know. Maybe I'm right. Maybe I'm talking out of my ear.
- •All I'm saying is that this afternoon I put powdered sugar in my somewhat-dirty hair in a desperate attempt to hide how much work it would take to fix it, and I feel like that's a pretty good summary of what my life is like these days.Here's hoping 25 carries a few less mistakes and lots more grins.