1. Disclaimer: This is about to get extremely girly. Ye be warned.
  2. Preface: Earlier this year I made a bet with myself re: my first kiss [see below]. Yet when the time came—& despite the urgings of many li.sters (looking at you @HisDudeness)—I realized I would regret flippantly giving it away after 24 years. Which meant I'd have to find a human I was interested in for more than just a kiss. Curse my dreamer heart.
  3. A month ago tonight, 5.11.2016, I went for a second meet-up with a guy I had matched with on OkCupid.
    It now seems ludicrous that I ever had an account, but that's 2016 for you I suppose.
  4. I had met him the week before when I was spilling my guts about a date leaving me with disappointed hopes and he talked me into meeting him so he could buy me the comfort soup I was craving. Also we walked around downtown just talking and exploring for like three hours. Also also I missed church that night—oops.
    I regret nothing.
  5. The first time we met up he drove to my city, so this time I drove to his; I met him in a parking garage where his truck was on the roof.
    I was so unbelievably nervous that I parked on the second level and then walked all the way up to the top to try to calm my nerves.
  6. Once I made it to him, he walked me over to his university and we walked all over campus, which was really really nice that night.
    Despite being May, it was still pleasantly cool out. Also the whole campus was virtually deserted, which made it seem as if we had it all to ourselves. I'd never really appreciated that this school, which is essentially in my backyard, is surprisingly lovely in places.
  7. In all honesty, I don't know how much time passed during the time he listened to me jabber on and on and on while we walked between dormitories and libraries and benches and bricks and patios.
    The gray-blue skies became twilight and then twilight became dusk.
  8. He asked me if I wanted to go back to his apartment to meet his cats...
    Which ¡of COURSE! I did. 😻
  9. But I told him I was too scared to go to his apartment yet.
    Which ¡of COURSE! I was. 🐔
  10. I asked if we could just go sit in the back of his truck and look at the stars, and he said sure without seeming disappointed at all.
    My awkward brand of gun-shy not being a source of frustration was a pleasant surprise to me. ✨
  11. We hopped into the truck bed while the soft breeze hummed by, chatting as we gazed out at the gathering purple that looked like God had dropped a few precious shards of crystal into it.
  12. After a bit, I think I started to squirm for a change of position, so we laid back and he pulled me close to him to warm me up because I was cold, delightfully cold. I have no idea what he felt in that moment but what I do know is that my whole entity was this conflicting mixture of utter relaxation yet also stiffly poised on tenterhooks.
    Uncharted Territory: The Movie.
  13. Something about the violet sky and peeking stars had finally quieted me, and I simply *was*, completely at peace in a truck bed on the roof of a parking garage laying in the arms of someone I'd only known for roughly a week. In the back of my mind was a lengthy list of people who would say I was being an idiot. But in that moment I was unafraid.
    Or at least as unafraid as I could be with anything involving a *boy*. Probably some of those shivers I was having were less about being cold and more about being insanely nervous.
  14. I'm sure he could tell I was still nervous about everything—we'd talked about it both times we'd hung out so duh—but he didn't let on that it bothered him or anything, he just held me closer to him and kissed me on the forehead, which somehow put me at ease in the most surreal way.
    I know forehead kisses have been recognized on Li.st for making us feel completely adored, no?
  15. I think maybe some part of him was waiting for my anxiety loosen its grip, because when I finally relaxed and my body's rigidity let up, he gently lowered his lips to my cheek, then grazed them along my jawbone, feathering kisses as he drew closer to my lips.
  16. He kissed the very corner of my mouth, then lingered there for a moment. He pulled back and looked at me and asked, "Is this okay?" To which I replied yes; then, "Are you sure? I don't want to push anything on you." I told him I *wanted* him to kiss me.
  17. So he did.
  18. Li.sters, do you appreciate how perfect this was? I mean, I get that for some people being asked would be a turn-off, but for me, so nervous and jittery re: my first "boy-thing" and particularly my first kiss, for him to hold me like I mattered and trail kisses round my face, then pause at the entryway to ask if it was okay for him to kiss me?
    And he was so patient with me the rest of the evening, despite my being awkward and giggly and shy—not to mention a horrible kisser!—and when I had to leave he walked me back to my car and kissed me goodbye and sent me a sweet text message before I'd even made it home. P.E.R.F.E.C.T.
  19. Epilogue: If you're reading this thinking I'd be an idiot to let him get away after such an idyllic night, not to worry. I didn't. Today is our one-month anniversary. I know a single month is not even a drop in a barrel in the scheme of life, but I'm such an infant in the world of relationships that this alone feels like it should be commemorated.
    Even if it's merely with a tawdry list.
  20. Static
  21. PSA: Because we here at Li.st love nothing more than to receive attention, I'm tagging every single one of you who interacted with my 'Bet' Li.st a few months ago. Thank you for your continued tune-ins to my odd little life.