THINGS THAT CAUSED ME TO STRESS EAT FOR AN ENTIRE TODAY
- •Grad school coming upWhich I've yet to register for or speak about with my school counselor or any other practical thing because ever since I received my acceptance letter I've been paralyzed by fear over what's to come the next two years.
- •Continuing sorrow over Beauty and the Beast letting *me* down so hard whilst everyone else loooooved itBecause I'm apparently a soulless monster who doesn't deserve to breathe the same air as others because everyone else I know thought it was "just the most magical thing!!1!" Furthermore, fear over being booted off this hollow shell that is post-update List because if I ever get up the nerve to write the requested lists about it everyone will want to stone me. 🤐⤵️🕳
- •Fearing I'll only gain more weight and more acne and never achieve the appearance I've wanted since fourth gradeA quest which is obviously super boosted by eating 1,995 calories in a 24 hour period.
- •Talking to my mom about wanting to marry my boyfriend of eleven months when I finish grad schoolBecause I don't want her to think I'm being crazy or rushing into anything or being impractical because (no matter how ill-advised it sometimes seems to me) I care about her opinion of me.
- •Losing my only friend that lives here who is my age when she moves to Vegas later this yearSending me back to my pre-college life of having virtually no friends, not realizing how valuable—no, NECCESSARY—they are to happiness. I can't go back to that.
- •Knowing that I'll be continuing to live with my parents for, at bare minimum, the next two yearsWith that ever-lingering phenomenon of a body that ages but never actually grows up.
- •The eternal nagging in my chest that it would be so, so simple to fix all of this in practically no time at allAnd the walls-are-closing-in, caged-bird certainty that I never actually will because I'm a coward and I could never do that to my grandmother or my sister.