TITLES I'VE ALWAYS WANTED TO DESCRIBE ME BUT NEVER HAVE

  1. Writer
    Especially heinous here since all of you are gifted writers!
  2. Lover
    I was discussing this with a college friend yesterday. I think being in love with someone, and everything that that entails, is the thing I can remember myself expecting to happen to me for the longest time. I genuinely don't recall a time I wasn't waiting for that. It is, pathetically, The Dream of my life. Which means my new goal is to pick literally anything else more realistic and practical, amiright?
  3. Movie Critic
    I love movies. I realize we all day, but I, like, OBSESSIVELY ADORE THEM. Being able to write about them? The dream.
  4. Disney Cast Member
    Disney World preferably, but Disney Land is good too. Disney World UK--my imaginary theme park--is The Dream.
  5. Personal Assistant to Mr. DiCaprio
    Getting paid to help organize his life and be at his beck and call? The Dream.
  6. Trophy Wife
    I mean, an intelligent one, but this actually just seems like such a compliment to me. A trophy is inherently something that people *want*, so being a trophy wife, to me, is The Dream.
  7. Princess Belle
    I don't mean at the park, although that would be nice. But actually *being* HER, the stunning woman who wasn't just *not* a damsel in distress, but SHE saved HIM? The Dream.
  8. Location Scout for Film Shoots
    Get paid to travel and pick out places for movies to be made. Amazing.
  9. Ben & Jerry's Taste-Tester
    I would live off ice cream if I could. Ideal.
  10. The World's Greatest Living Expert on _____________
    Anything. I just want to be the best at something.
  11. Guinea Pig for Travel Agency Trips
    Get paid to try out new plan ideas? Check check check.
  12. Au pair for English toddler
    In my head it would be The Nanny Diaries, except in England and with the movie ending because it's happier.
  13. Hotel Reviewer
    Get paid to stay in hotels, both luxurious and not so much. I flipping love everything about staying in hotels. So much fun.
  14. Member of the Swarovski Thinktank
    I'm not a big jewelry person, but I LUST over Swarovski. The first time I saw it I felt my entire earth shift. Being part of the team that thinks up new ideas for it? Aka I could design my perfect Enchanted Rose ring? Orgasmic.