TODAY IS INSANE

  1. I got about 1.5 hours of sleep last night
  2. Because I stayed up late texting someone I hadn't talked to in a while who randomly texted me whom I then texted back even though I know I shouldn't
  3. And this morning we had all the Valentine's day stuff at work
  4. The four kids who came brought cupcakes and cookies and little cards
    My favorite kid + my favorite Princess 😍😭😍
  5. So we watched Thumbelina and I talked with a stranger about not settling for love because stranger thinks one day someday there will be a person who loves me the way I want them to love me.
  6. And I forgot how beautiful Thumbelina is, legit I almost cried like three times in front of my toddlers
  7. And I had a cupcake
  8. And a cookie
  9. And we danced to Kidz Bop
  10. And I felt so beautiful and wanted and *seen* today for some reason
    Probably sugar+sleep deprivation delusion.
  11. And then the "hard" snow started and we got an early dismissal
  12. So all the kids hugged me goodbye
  13. And they really loved me
  14. And the person I shouldn't be texting is being so nice to me today
  15. And that stranger seems so certain that one day I'll find what I desperately, pathetically want
  16. And I think the combination of snow high+sugar buzz+sleepless alertness has formed a kind of psychological mental cocktail
  17. Because I feel awesome right now
  18. Like I'm doing so many conflicting things at once
  19. Stuff I know I shouldn't be doing
  20. And I'm cognizant enough to realize I shouldn't be doing those things
  21. But I'm so ready to change something that I'm just acting like an idiot
  22. I know I'll probably feel stupid tomorrow
  23. But right now all I want is to drive to Knoxville and just lose myself in a different city
  24. This has been a list
  25. That I will probably delete later if I know what's good for me
  26. Is this what being drugged feels like?
  27. Trembling jitters
  28. This may count as drunk listing tbh