TONIGHT I SPENT 7 HOURS IN MY LITTLE MERMAID BATHROOM AND I MIGHT HAVE HAD A SPIRITUAL AWAKENING

And then I flossed.
  1. So this Friday night of MLK weekend I have less than nothing to do and am feeling SUPER hyped about the fact that all I have to show for my day is the riveting tale of changing three duce-diapers back to back to back.
    Deeply enthralling stuff.
  2. I decided to go spend the lonely hours doing something productive and clean my bathroom.
  3. I drag all the supplies out and start scrubbing every surface in my bathroom--and I mean every. single. surface.
    I'm battling bathtime paint that hasn't been seen by human eyes since my 21 year old sister was a babe-in-arms.
  4. As I'm looking around my bathroom thinking about how ridiculous it is that *this* is what I'm doing on a Friday night, feeling like the 2nd biggest loser on earth
    The first, of course, being Donald Trump.
  5. I get a text back from @nantea. So we start texting and basically my shaky little soul feels madly intimidated and healed all at once.
  6. I am laughing, I am crying, I am filled with a righteous anger.
    Not at her. As if.
  7. Basically I confirm my suspicions that @nantea is the ultimate girl next door.
  8. For real. We're both straight up into dudes, but if *I* were a dude my crap would already be packed into my truck and I'd be racing to her so I could fall at her feet and beg her to marry me.
  9. We're talking about actual stuff of humanity, which I'm not going to unload here, but as we talk I feel like a weight is lifting off my shoulders.
  10. I start listening to Tori Amos (because Anna told me to) and I've never heard any of her stuff before but I am LOVING it.
  11. She has so much pain and anger and yet she sounds angelic. How does she do that?!
  12. So after holding Anna hostage for way longer than propriety permits, I finally let her continue life without my whining; I keep scrubbing the bathroom and thinking about everything we talked about.
  13. And how bizarrely beautiful it is to have a convo with a human being that isn't related to you but with whom you relate so much better.
  14. I'm thinking all these quasi-philosophical thoughts and watching these ancient stains under my bathroom sink disappear and thinking about how great it would be if doubts and insecurities could just be wiped clean with some Clorox.
  15. I'm definitely crying now, but it's like tears of release? I'm not going into details because boundaries, but it was just so unexpected to have a person to talk to without feeling instant judgment or exasperation or PITY.
    Lord, I am so sick of pity. Please make people direct it somewhere else.
  16. I don't know if making a friend counts as a spiritual experience, but for someone as lost in a friendless desert as me it definitely feels like it.
  17. I'm on autopilot with the scrubbing now, just thinking about everything and nothing
    And also about @sabrinakristine's Soulmates list because I still don't know what I believe.
  18. and by the time I realize that my entire bathroom is sparkling I just want to sit and soak in the scent of lemony cleaner + the bleach.
    It doesn't show up but I swear this whole place is basically glittering right now.
  19. Naturally, because this sanctum is my filtered outlet, I felt the immediate need to boil some strong tea and List about it.
    So that's what I did, the end.
  20. Oh also I did that thing trendy Pinterest moms do--upcycling?--and made this *incredibly* professional-looking jewelry rack from junk destined for the bin.
    Thought of @oh_goodlord the whole time because crafts are now irrevocably linked with her in my mind palace.
  21. Also also, since it happened during my obv legit spiritual awakening, I feel no guilt whatsoever in admitting that I'm adding a new name to my #hitlist. Nobody messes with @dubstep.
    Righteous anger.