WHY I'M ACTUALLY NATALIE FROM LOVE ACTUALLY

  1. She works in a job where she performs menial tasks for others because they're too disorganized to do it themselves.
    The Prime Minister in this movie is remarkably similar to the kids at my school.
  2. She still lives with her parents.
    A blessing and a curse.
  3. She has a "sizable ass" and "huge thighs" that are "the size of big tree trunks."
    Her father calls her PLUMPY. Penishead.
  4. She falls for an Important Man without knowing anything about him except that he's attractive and he's important.
    Level of importance may vary.
  5. When she meets said Important Man she wordvomits all over him in the most mortifying way.
    People who DON'T do this are one of life's greatest mysteries to me.
  6. When she embarrasses herself and hurts Important Man, the only way for her to break the ice is by writing him a note.
    Literally the only format in which I am able to begin any apology since learning to write.
  7. She completely disregards her family's "big pageant" thing as being of no significance compared to Important Man.
    "No, really, IT DOESN'T MATTER."
  8. When she finally gets with Important Man, her obsessive personality doesn't care a fig what anyone else thinks about her, their relationship, or anything else, really.
    Unhealthy? Absolutely. But exactly what I would do. No doubt.
  9. Seriously the only differences between us are 1. She has an English accent and 2. Her mouth is a predecessor to Jennifer Lawrence's.