Antiresolutions

Happy 2016!
  1. I resolve to not run or climb more than 5 miles
    I find that beyond this limit, I start to see spots, the gym is no longer fun, and I might actually fall off the machine, in public. There is such a thing as being too fit.
  2. I resolve not to drink less
    At least 2 glasses of red wine while I'm cooking and enjoying dinner. The food tastes better and my cheeks have a nice rosy hue.
  3. I resolve not to eat anymore dark leafy greens than I already do
    Otherwise, my husband may leave me because I have become a gaseous cloud. Also, I've been eating kale 3 decades before it was trendy.
  4. I resolved not to blow off the lessons of things I've been trying to learn for the last 10 years' worth of resolution lists
    I'm going to try to actually go to my Italian lessons, my drum lessons, and my sky diving lessons. (The next time I jump will be my 6th time and technically, you can go solo after 4!)
  5. I resolve to continue to not let the "are you kidding me" looks from my peers and coworker to affect my treatment of my dog
    I'm going to keep cooking for her, talking to her in baby talk, letting her sleep in the middle of my bed, and enabling her to chew up an endless amount of squeaky toys.