PEOPLE I HOPE TO RUN INTO AT THE BAR ON THANKSGIVING EVE

Tis the season for humble brags after all!
  1. The boy from 8th grade who told me I'd never get a boyfriend unless I dressed more like his "girlfriend"
    This look included denim mini skirts, lots of lip gloss, and the lack of a soul.
  2. His 8th grade "girlfriend"
  3. My high school boyfriends in order from least offensive (the one who gave me a chia pet for Valentine's Day) to most offensive (the one who became a meth addict in college)
  4. The weird guy I made out with at the pool once who still scams on high school girls
  5. The guy from middle school who became a famous first round draft pick in the NBA
    I'd like to remind him of the time I beat him in knock out.
  6. The one girl that I thought was a mean girl but actually turned out to be really sweet
  7. The dozen people who have friend requested me since college graduation that I've let sit with no intention of accepting