REASONS I WOULD MAKE A KICK ASS ASTRONAUT

  1. My Instagram game would be insane
  2. The Kelly brothers and I had the same guidance counselor at our high school
    So it's meant to be based solely on that
  3. I wouldn't go crazy from all the #space because I would bring board games
  4. I don't get seasick reading on planes, trains, or automobiles
  5. The rehydrated space mush would be better than my own cooking anyway
    Astronaut ice cream was my jam in elementary school
  6. I could finally perfect my Sandra Bullock impression
  7. You could fit me into small holes to make repairs
  8. My journal entries would make a thrilling publication after my death
    (Hopefully not tragically a la Gravity...)