THE MORNING AFTER...

You work out for the first time in weeks
  1. My body will lie in the chamber forever
  2. I will never be able to get up
  3. My legs aren't legs but gelatin molds made to look like legs
  4. WHY IS THERE A MUSCLE THERE
  5. Did my appendix burst while I slept or is that just an abdominal muscle?
  6. Maybe I should take a sick day
  7. Oh god I promised I would do this tomorrow? Why did I tell people I was getting fit?
  8. All I need in this life of sin is dairy and carbohydrates not this bullshit
  9. I should probably stop whining and get up
    ... In five more minutes
  10. My body will lie in the chamber forever