Hopefully none of you are guilty of the following:
  1. Too many exclamation points
    Calm down.
  2. Ellipses
    When you use an ellipse at the end of each sentence...or phrase...I assume you're inserting each period with lots of...judgement...or you're just...dumb.
  3. Lengthy
    We all get lots of emails daily. Keep it short. Get to the point.
  4. Not emailing back
    If your job is done 90% via email, getting a response from you should not be like pulling teeth.
  5. Ridiculous fonts and colors
    Your bright blue papyrus font is offensive.
  6. Ridiculous signature
    There's no need for a flashy logo or a lengthy Gandhi quote. This ain't your middle school AIM profile.
  7. "Save trees - please consider the environment before printing this email."
    Please consider the fact that absolutely no one is printing out emails to read them before inserting a self-righteous sign-off.
  8. Attempts at a clever variation of "Sent from my iPhone"
    If you're not a truly clever funny person, just don't.
    Suggested by @kflinn1