FEIGNED EXPERTISE

Alternatively, I get annoyed when people pretend to know shit when they probably don't. Starting to think maybe I'm just a really irritable grinch-like person?
  1. Weed
    Every college sophomore thinks they are an expert after all their craazy experiences from freshman yr. They'll blurt out names of random strains and say stuff like "give me the good stuff, not with all the stems and shit" even though NO SHIT SHERLOCK smoking anything with stems will be not great.
  2. Beer
    Bruh, you were chugging Budlight just a few months before you went to study abroad. I don't want to hear about your newfound knowledge of Belgian brews. You think people drink cheap beer because they prefer it to the expensive stuff? You think I shop at H&M because I don't know about Prada?
  3. Film
    The idiot in your college film class thinks he knows everything because he watched a whopping total of three Fellini films in the Italian Cinema course last semester.
  4. Legal Advice
    Hey friend, I think it's great that you've found your passion, got into law school, and are loving it, but this is just a speeding ticket. I can figure it out, thanks.
  5. Lesser-known bands
    I really could not give a shit about the bands you saw at Shea Stadium before they got on Pitchfork's radar. Honestly what do you get out of this? What do you want? A gold star? Would that make your smug little self feel valid?
  6. Cooking
    You know what, Gina? Just because you're good at making this pasta dish doesn't mean you're a super chef who gets to criticize the other food people brought to this dinner party. It only means you are good at making THIS ONE PASTA DISH. Also pasta is RELATIVELY SIMPLE TO MAKE.