POC MILLENNIAL FEARS

  1. I think, talk, and write too much about race.
  2. I don't think, talk, and write enough about race.
  3. When I work hard, it will be undermined with "You're asian, of course you're hardworking."
    Model minority stereotyping is not a good thing, people!
  4. When I don't work hard enough it'll be because I'm a lazy, entitled millennial who hasn't been taught any better.
    Fuck your thinkpiece.
  5. Once we all finally get on the same page about race and social justice we won't really know what to do next.
    I.e. I don't know what to do when my white friends go on and tell me about their privilege and guilt. I love them and their support, but I honestly don't know what I'm supposed to do.
  6. Not that we'll ever get there, right? Will my children face the same racial injustices?
  7. And if not - if things turn out peachy keen - how do we instill the sense of importance in those things? How do we make sure shit doesn't get fucked up again?
  8. I love my culture too much.
  9. I don't love my culture enough.
  10. I will never learn to be truly fluent in Korean and people will think less of me for that.
  11. In an essential moment I will be too afraid to speak my truth, and the moment will never come again.
  12. Any creative endeavor I pursue will never be defined as itself, but rather as the opposite of a pursuit in medicine, law, etc. framed against the backdrop of stereotypical expectations.
  13. Even so, the only person interested in stories about Korean kids growing up in Jersey and Queens is me.
  14. My stories will stop being interesting to others once they stop being about race. Race will be the only selling point and topic on which I could offer an opinion.
  15. My truth is not significant enough, not timely enough, not relevant enough.
  16. I will never feel a great desire to visit Korea, because it was never my home. My blood relatives - my own family in Seoul will remain complete strangers.
  17. When I do make it out to Korea, feeling like an outsider yet again but among a nation of people who look like you will be too much for me to handle.
  18. If I don't become wildly successful, pay off my parents' debt, and give them a life of comfort and luxury, their struggle in coming here will not have been worth it.
    Mind you this is certainly not their expectation, just a high standard that all immigrant children hold themselves to.
  19. I will always hate the filthy rich Manhattan FOBs who never bother to speak english for not being American enough, and they will always hate me for not being Korean enough.
  20. One day my Korean friends will meet my non-Korean group of friends.
  21. I will always be either too Korean or not Korean enough, depending on who I'm around.
  22. There is no resolution to this identity crisis.
  23. All this codeswitching will eventually lead to a nervous breakdown.
  24. It doesn't get better or worse - it just becomes clearer what it has been all along.