THINGS TO DO IF YOU WANT THE SUBWAY TO ARRIVE INSTANTLY

  1. Struggle to find your metrocard in the vast depths of your handbag.
  2. Be ten cents short of the fare.
  3. Swipe your metrocard too fast multiple times. Bruise your ribcage against the resistant turnstile in the process.
  4. Write half an urgent work email that needs to get sent out asap. The train will arrive right away and the wi-fi will disappear just as fast.
  5. Open instagram/twitter/fb and try to catch up to wherever you last were a few hours ago.
  6. Make meaningful eye contact with a handsome stranger standing across the platform.
  7. Get completely gripped by a book. The ding of the opening subway doors will pry you from the scene and ruin the moment.
  8. Overestimate travel time and leave home too early en route to a date/friend's birthday/dinner party.