THINGS TO DO IF YOU WANT THE SUBWAY TO ARRIVE INSTANTLY
- •Struggle to find your metrocard in the vast depths of your handbag.
- •Be ten cents short of the fare.
- •Swipe your metrocard too fast multiple times. Bruise your ribcage against the resistant turnstile in the process.
- •Write half an urgent work email that needs to get sent out asap. The train will arrive right away and the wi-fi will disappear just as fast.
- •Open instagram/twitter/fb and try to catch up to wherever you last were a few hours ago.
- •Make meaningful eye contact with a handsome stranger standing across the platform.
- •Get completely gripped by a book. The ding of the opening subway doors will pry you from the scene and ruin the moment.
- •Overestimate travel time and leave home too early en route to a date/friend's birthday/dinner party.