LIES I HAVE TOLD MEN

sometimes i say things i don't mean.
  1. "sure, it's fine if you get high with your friends."
    it is not fine. i am just sitting around while you do this, and you now smell like pot and i will taste it when you kiss me.
  2. "this is not the first blowjob i have given."
    it is.
  3. "i don't care if we celebrate valentine's day."
    i don't care, but i do care that you don't care.
  4. "it doesn't matter where we go for dinner."
    i will not choose a restaurant, but i will veto any suggestion you make and feel very strongly about the one you choose.
  5. "i just threw this on."
    not only is this the third outfit i tried on, but i also have a backup outfit in my bag in case of emergency.
  6. "i would think about having a threesome."
    i thought about it the first time you asked, and the answer is no.
  7. "we don't need to be facebook official."
    i am going to lose my mind.