THOUGHTS WHEN SITTING IN A PUBLIC PLACE

  1. I wonder if I look super busy staring intensely at my phone?
  2. I wonder how many people have farted in this seat
  3. I wonder how many people have looked in this direction and thought that's sad that girl is sitting alone
  4. I wonder if my "I'm contemplating so many things right now" face really just looks like my "I'm constipated or very confused" face
  5. I wonder how many times I can pretend to read the same email over and over again before people can tell I'm actually doing nothing
  6. These 5 minutes to myself are very calming, you look so mature being comfortable with sitting alone
  7. (someone is approaching your bench)..... In your head you scream holy hell please do not sit next to me
  8. I hope people don't think that noise I just made was a fart! It was my sneakers I swear!!!!
  9. It would be cool if this bench was like a magic carpet, I could fly and have something support my back at the same time
  10. Why did you have to pick the squeaky chair
    Same thought but for the broken chair
  11. I wonder if people around me can hear my stomach growling (note to self bring snacks next time)
  12. This is the last time I arrive extra early I look like a fool sitting at this huge table alone
  13. If the person I'm meeting doesn't get here before my phone dies I am 100% leaving
    But not really that would be harsh
  14. I wonder why everyone looks like they have their shit together and you don't
  15. You should probably stop staring off into space while sitting on a bench and get your shit together