Inconvenient Times to Have Pink Eye
Inspired by real events that took place this weekend
- •On your anniversaryStare deeply into my crusty, gooey, watery, red eyes and tell me you love me. DO IT. AND DONT YOU FLINCH
- •While chopping an onionI had no idea there was a way to make chopping onions worse, but ladies and gentlemen, I have discovered it
- •The morning you're supposed purchase something from someone on CraigslistI'm not drug seeking, I promise!
- •Just after your deductible resetsThey're pink. I have pink, goopy eyes. Give me that ointment so I can see again.