When You Say "You've Got Your Hands Full" What I Really Hear Is...
Hint: it never has a positive effect, although usually I think the intention is good and try to just nod and smile. I thought I was being particularly sensitive because I am slowly working through PPD, but I've talked to quite a few mom friends and they all feel the same way.
- •You're a hot messThanks buddy, children tend to put your weaknesses on display for all to see. What are yours? Also, leggings are awesome and should be standard dress code, thanks.
- •Why the f* do you have (so many) kids?I know it's hard to believe, but we aren't always this stressed out and I'm not always telling them no. But when we are in a place that is intentionally trying to entice kids into trying before buying (seriously, overpriced candy at the checkout is still a thing?) and tricking their parents into paying for things, there's going to be some stress involved
- •I'm so sorry that your life sucks.Show me this magical life and job where you can be stress free 24/7. And for the record, these little turds are the loves of my life, they're just being particularly turdy right now and are always learning.
- •Do you ever get to do anything for yourself?Okay, not really, but I'm working on it. I don't have long blocks of time to myself, no, but the short blocks that er carve out are pure heaven and sufficient for this time in my life. I chose a life where I preferred to do for others as opposed to myself through raising children, and I'm enjoying it. Time for myself is always a work in progress, but as long as I'm not burnt out, time for my kids will benefit them and hopefully help them live up to their awesome potential.
- •Aw, wish I could help!Want to help? If you're an employee at a check out counter, get someone to help me put the groceries in the car (there is a local grocery store that does this and it is beyond helpful.) Smile at me, make silly faces at my kids. Instead of commenting that my hands are full, say things like "it looks like you have a lot of fun at your house!" (Yes, yes we do). Have a friend with kids? Offer to watch their kids, play with them while said friend gets some things done, or make/bring them a meal.