THINGS I'VE SAID AND IMMEDIATELY REGRETTED
Desperately seeking medication for my foot in mouth disease
- •"Do you ever rub your head and feel like a baby chicken?"I said this to a 16 year old model who just shaved all her hair off
- •"He won the Super Bowl of basketball"I was talking about the NBA championship. The basketball player heard me say this.
- •"I am so sorry, sir! I didn't see your things"After bumping into a homeless man in Morocco who had about a dozen bags
- •"I'm SO sorry to do this but can I have a bite of your funnel cake?!"To a random Midwestern mom at Six Flags (this was not a dare)
- •"Can I just buy the frosting off the cupcake?"Jury is still out whether this a regretful or ingenious question
- •"Would you hate me if I asked for a fry?"To the man sitting next to me at a Knicks game, also to the man sitting next to me at The Bowery, also to the man at South Beverly Grill. I really am sorry to all of you.