THINGS I HAVE EXPERIENCED WHILE WORKING AT A GROCERY STORE

With less than 2 weeks left of my eventful career as a cashier at Kroghetto, I felt it was appropriate to share some of my very fond memories.
  1. A man stopped walking, shook a turd out of his pant leg and onto the floor, and then continued his shopping as if nothing had happened.
  2. I had to call security because a customer let me know there were people having sex in the men's restroom.
    I hope they used protection. And disinfectant spray.
  3. I got asked on many dates.
    Some were cute, college guys. Most were creepy, old men.
  4. A woman walked directly from the door to me and asked where our douches were and I had to answer with a straight face.
    Yes, I know I'm immature.
  5. The ambulance and police had to come because there was a very drunk man passed out in the entrance with his pants (and underwear) around his ankles.
  6. An extremely chunky 8 year old dragged his extremely chunky younger brother, who was screaming at the top of his lungs because he couldn't get a candy bar, across the floor away from said candy bar while their mother stood in my line yelling at them to "shut up and get over here!"
    The best birth control.
  7. Overheard a guy say "You can't be a Jesus freak AND a crack head. It just doesn't add up" to his buddy while waiting in line.
  8. One woman asked me where Plan B was. She returned to checkout 10 minutes later to purchase diapers, cigarettes, and a box of condoms.