The Hillary Clinton team has unloaded a bunch of youth-oriented items on, and while the effort is noble, Clinton's team will have shill to the millennials a little harder. Below are some suggestions for additional merch to incorporate into the campaign trail.
  1. Been Trillary Clinton
    In her first collab with art collective brand #BEENTRILL, Clinton unleashes a streetstyle collection so right now that millennials don't even really understand its allure, but still really want it.
  2. Oral Contraceptive Pillary Clinton
    Clinton famously said, "Women's rights are human rights." In order to impress those powerful words, Clinton makes her foray into the world of government-subsidized birth control with the first Clinton-branded prophylactic.
  3. Downhillary Clinton
    Because her team couldn't think of a good Lululemon pun, the Clinton campaign looked to a fitness alternative: cycling—on a fixed gear bike. Yes, one can really only ride a fixie downhill with ease, but Hillary's advisors assure it's all smooth sailing from here on out.
  4. Coffee Millary Clinton
    Millennials only care about third wave coffee shops, and Clinton is savvy enough to understand that. With her first line of burr millcoffee grinders, Clinton takes specialty coffee to the next level with hip accoutrements and red and blue straws.
  5. One Dollar Billary Clinton
    In Clinton's new project with the US Mint, her visage replaces that of George Washington. This new form of monetary and cultural currency will have urban-dwelling youths trading Clinton's face for a single slice of OK pizza or a Bic lighter.
  6. Automated Electric Billary Clinton
    Clinton's camp teams up with ConEd to deliver custom coddling "Congratulations, you auto-paid your electric bill!" messages to customers. Here's the clever part: any auto-paid bill will auto-match a donation to the Clinton campaign. They probably won't even notice!