A LIST OF MEN

Of whom I've had the unfortunate pleasure of having intimate relationships with (and are somewhat arranged in order)
  1. Johnny
    a no good 9th grader with an obsession for pizza and spongebob only.
  2. Nick
    a beautiful greek god, who I would still be with if he didn't think I was irrevocably insane.
  3. Vinnie
    a vile, disgusting, screamo loving fuckboy who never deserved my attention, ever.
  4. Steve
    an amateur body-builder of sorts.
  5. Connor
    a sweet boy with ocean blue eyes that didn't deserve to die from a heroin overdose/coma/brain trauma.
  6. Zach
    another fuckboy who died from being hit by a motorcyclist in Hong Kong. (this was a brief relationship so my concern is minimal)
  7. Tyler
    a super sweet and caring boy, who was perfect, except he claimed the office was his favorite show and he never got my references... (Also good to know this is the same guy who tried to get something back he had given me during our relationship 2 years later)
  8. Forrest
    a strange and manipulative boy, who I've maintained a harmless relationship with throughout the majority of the previous ones and cannot seem to stop talking to despite how terrible he is.
  9. Ultimately they're all terrible experiences that have ruined my perception of men as a whole. You've been warned.