STUFF ON MY FACEBOOK FEED AND MY SUBSEQUENT FEELINGS
I'm not always this judge-y but yeah ok maybe
- •"Rest in peace girlie <3" with link to vague obituary of a 19 year old I do not knowWhat has happened? Is there a higher power? One minute of intense worry for her mother. One minute of intense shame for being more sad bc she is cute
- •Prom photos of people I don't know at high schools I didn't attendSAVOR THIS TIME YOU SEXUALLY REPRESSED, FLAT-STOMACHED INNOCENTS
- •Embarrassing birthday post by someone's aging parentsThey have to know their child looks awful in that awkward close-up from a 2010 family trip to Bruges. Or is that the point ? Either way I firmly re-commit to ignoring Grandma Edith's friend request.
- •Engagement photos of a red-bearded former camp counselor and his flower wreath-wearing fiancé.LOVE IS REAL!!!!!
- •Close up of photo of a Bloody Mary at swanky brunchOk how does everyone like those?? I've never had *an alcohol* and been like, ya know, a carrot and some lettuce would be JUST the thing
- •Video of hamsters eating tiny burritosYes I've seen it 3 times already but like why you gotta limit me? But seriously, G-d bless this film maker
- •A call for equal prize money for female Brazilian jiu-jitsu fightersI silently curse the injustice and scroll on past the change.org petition
- •An ad for overly expensive sunglasses I googled last weekFuck you Internet Cookies for real. You don't deserve the name Cookies
- •A German video of what appears to be a baby in a tub of liquid chocolateI do not click play for fear of pedophilia charges
- •Photos of girls looking cute in bucket hatsI don't understand this trend but I'll let it play out (I'm kind in that way)