Chik-Fil-A Devirginization Recap
For the first time in my life today, I went to a food court and got Chik-Fil-A.
- •Let me preface this by saying I don't really agree with CFA re: discriminatory policies, a lot of phobia, and ESPECIALLY not being open on Sunday (what day can I eat fast food if not Sunday, seriously?)
- •However, faced with the absolute crap that is the local mall food court, I decided to bite this particular bullet.
- •I got the 8-pc nuggets (all about the nugs, right guys?) with Polynesian sauce and honey mustardNote: no I don't know why they call it Polynesian sauce it tasted like a twist between orange chicken sauce and something else. But I was curious because I have friends who like it and also the cashier laughed at my Polynesian joke so it was okay.
- •First a sense of dread. Did I order a good thing? Fucka what.
- •Then I touched the nugs and they were BURNING.And my ancestors lived among volcanoes, y'all
- •They tasted okay but they were way too hot. Shouldn't you make sure you're not serving something this hot?Given that nobody wins lawsuits against huge corporations, maybe they don't care.
- •The fries were frankly... subpar.Not a joy, not a burden. Simply there, like your dad's first wife. What do you even do?
- •I wished I had salt packets.Or a better meal. But college girls on budgets gotta be cheap. Stingy, even.
- •The nuggets got better but weren't that amazing.I liked them more than McD nuggets, but less than Korean style fried chicken (which is amazing, if you've never had any).
- •Polynesian sauce is weird and definitely a completely random name.IMO we should rename it Chinese Takeout Surprise sauce.
- •Best part of meal: drinks in a styrofoam cup.None of that condensation on my haaaaand my haaaaaaaaaand got to stay dry. My pimp hand was dry. I liked it.
- •They gave me hella napkins.Super plus in my book. Nothing is worse than not having enough napkins.
- •But I don't need a redo.This West coast girl is pining away for jack in the box, dammit.
- •On that note, maybe this summer I will attempt McDonald's moz sticks.Fried cheese y'allllllllll.