Chik-Fil-A Devirginization Recap

For the first time in my life today, I went to a food court and got Chik-Fil-A.
  1. Let me preface this by saying I don't really agree with CFA re: discriminatory policies, a lot of phobia, and ESPECIALLY not being open on Sunday (what day can I eat fast food if not Sunday, seriously?)
  2. However, faced with the absolute crap that is the local mall food court, I decided to bite this particular bullet.
  3. I got the 8-pc nuggets (all about the nugs, right guys?) with Polynesian sauce and honey mustard
    Note: no I don't know why they call it Polynesian sauce it tasted like a twist between orange chicken sauce and something else. But I was curious because I have friends who like it and also the cashier laughed at my Polynesian joke so it was okay.
  4. First a sense of dread. Did I order a good thing? Fucka what.
  5. Then I touched the nugs and they were BURNING.
    And my ancestors lived among volcanoes, y'all
  6. They tasted okay but they were way too hot. Shouldn't you make sure you're not serving something this hot?
    Given that nobody wins lawsuits against huge corporations, maybe they don't care.
  7. The fries were frankly... subpar.
    Not a joy, not a burden. Simply there, like your dad's first wife. What do you even do?
  8. I wished I had salt packets.
    Or a better meal. But college girls on budgets gotta be cheap. Stingy, even.
  9. The nuggets got better but weren't that amazing.
    I liked them more than McD nuggets, but less than Korean style fried chicken (which is amazing, if you've never had any).
  10. Polynesian sauce is weird and definitely a completely random name.
    IMO we should rename it Chinese Takeout Surprise sauce.
  11. Best part of meal: drinks in a styrofoam cup.
    None of that condensation on my haaaaand my haaaaaaaaaand got to stay dry. My pimp hand was dry. I liked it.
  12. They gave me hella napkins.
    Super plus in my book. Nothing is worse than not having enough napkins.
  13. But I don't need a redo.
    This West coast girl is pining away for jack in the box, dammit.
  14. On that note, maybe this summer I will attempt McDonald's moz sticks.
    Fried cheese y'allllllllll.