Things I Think Right Before Bed

  1. God, finally.
  2. Yesssss let me just ease on up...
  3. Oh for fucks sake how much will this mattress topper slide??
  4. Fuck it. Not tryna start shit rn.
  5. Ugh do I plug my laptop in?
  6. Speaking of laptop definitely gotta charge my phone...
  7. Alright turn the light back on.
  8. I should pee.
  9. Don't have to.
  10. Should.
  11. Don't have to.
  12. Lights off. Pants off.
  13. Dance off!
  14. No.
  15. This is so counterproductive.
  16. I should've just worked on some shit for another fifteen.
  17. NO! I NEED SLEEP!
  18. Now I have to pee for real.
  19. My leg hurts...
  20. Owwwww...
  21. Stretch slow. Yes. Yes.
  22. TOO MUCH NO NO NO GOD WOW DAMN JESUS SHIT.
  23. I choose amputation.
  24. Why can't I be one of those people who have a nervous system disease and can't feel?
  25. All I have is this cold, unfeeling heart.
  26. I am Morgalorgmor, mother of man-eating she-demons!!
  27. Gotta sleep, gotta sleep.
  28. Shhhh...
  29. Roommate noise. Fab.
  30. *mulan mom voice* you'd be asleep if you'd just gone to bed when you planned!
  31. Full body stretch mmmmmm
  32. Shavasana. Savasana. However you spell it.
  33. Close eyes. Deep breaths.
  34. Thinking about work!
  35. Noooooo shhh.
  36. Shhh...
  37. ShhhhhHhhHHHHUT UP AND DANCE WITH ME
  38. I hate you brain.
  39. You and your cognitive abilities.
  40. Cry because insomnia.
  41. Maybe a snack?
  42. NO brushed my teeth.
  43. Just force the sleep. Force it.
  44. Yessss there we go...
  45. .
  46. .
  47. .
  48. HOW IS THIS ALARM TIME WHY IS THIS PUNISHMENT UPON ME ALREADY