Things I Hate Getting In Goodie Bags From Kid's Birthday Parties

I have two kids who will be 6 and 4 this month. Although Spring brings nicer weather, it also brings along "Birthday Party Season. Over the last month or so it seems like we are averaging 1.3 kids parties a weekend. Between those and birthday parties at school we can now stock our own Party City.
  1. Those keychain sized bottles of bubbles with the smallest wand known to man.
    My kids want to play with these immediately. Not only that, they are no longer content with me holding them which means they are going to spill. Plus those crappy bubbles aren't going to work so I'm just going to have to get my stash anyway after that letdown. Bubbles are still a big deal to them. Let me bring them out on my terms.
  2. A four pack of crayons
    If you have kids, which everyone at your party does, you would know that by this point we've gotten our kids crayons and with 60 more colors than what you just gave. And sure, they are good for travel but we've also been to a bunch of restaurants in their lives and have accumulated plenty
  3. A whistle
    Screw the parents who do that to other parents
  4. Those tiny, pointless "erasers"... too small to get the job done, even if they did work.
    Suggested by   @doodler19