REAL SKILLS I HAVE

Not for resumes.
  1. Trivia
    Not in a douchey way though. In a fun "I can answer that question you just posed to the group," "we'd do pretty good at a pub quiz" way. (I hope).
  2. Buying presents
    Corollary: also skilled at spending too much money on presents.
  3. Peanut butter chocolate chip cookies
    The actual best. I have references.
  4. Making people I don't like believe I think they're okay
    Shoutout to high school, where I perfected this skill.
  5. Making faces in the mirror
    A lifetime of experience