1. If there's a fire I won't have to stop on the way out to put on make up
  2. Acne makes me look younger
  3. Want to look cute for single ghosts my age that might be watching me sleep
  4. In case there's a robber and he's actually really nice and just robbing to get money for his sick grandma but he's in a PhD program for studying helping babies and animals be friends
  5. If God wanted us to take off our make up before sleeping he would have invented pillowcases made of Neutrogena make up removal wipes