5 THINGS I'VE LEARNED IN 5 YEARS OF COLLEGE

Hint: none of them have made me more employable
  1. 1.
    Personal hygiene is a fluid concept. What really is "clean" anyways?
    The length you've been in college is directly related to how long it's been since you've showered.
  2. 2.
    Never make declarative statements about foods you'll "never eat"
    Little Caesars pizza may taste like cardboard but it's cheap and its there for you. You'll eat your words and the pizza.
  3. 3.
    Some college friendships may not last long but they will haunt your Facebook forever
  4. 4.
    The fashion of finals week are what make them bearable
    There's just something hilarious and beautiful about everyone going a little crazy for a week. It's fascinating and I love it
  5. 5.
    The most aggressive football fans supply the elaborate free tailgate food. Don't mock them (to their faces)